


Ice Prince

by bibliomaniac



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, UR GETTIN ONE ANYWAY, did somebody say CRAPPY DISNEY ORIGINAL AU?, no?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-08-31 21:09:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8593909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bibliomaniac/pseuds/bibliomaniac
Summary: Katsuki Yuuri is just a physics geek whose path is laid out for him. He's going to go to college, he's going to make his mom happy, and he's not going to think about the ultra-hot, ultra-unattainable junior skater Victor Nikiforov and how much he wants to kiss him.Or that's what he thinks, until he creates a program to calculate the physics of competitive figure skating for a scholarship, and everything changes.(AKA, an AU based off of the incredibly cheesy 2005 Disney movie Ice Princess. Because why not.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> if you're familiar with the movie, i'm deviating slightly. yuuri is obv casey, but victor is gen and not teddy, because they should have gotten together in the movie anyway. (yuri is nikki bc that's hilarious lol)
> 
> lol i've seen this movie so many times don't judge me

Yuuri has always loved ice skating. The freedom of flying across the ice, the cold staining his cheeks pink…it’s like a dream to him, the type of dream you have while awake. He thinks those are the best kind. 

“Yuuri,” his mother calls from inside the house, holding up a textbook and shaking it slightly to get his attention.

He deflates. Looks like the dream is over.

“Five more minutes?” he begs. “Or ten?”

“Nope.” His mom smiles to lessen the blow. “Now come on.”

He does as he’s told and goes inside and studies.

“Yuuri, you have a calling,” his science teacher tells him the next week.

“I do?” he asks, confused.

“Yes.”

“…What is it?”

“Physics!”

He pauses. Physics? He’s good at it, sure, but…“Really? How do you know?”

“You haven’t gotten anything lower than an A+ on a test this year. Plus, I’m telling you so. Now, have you considered your college options?”

“Options? Um…” He doesn’t really know how to respond to that. His mom has wanted him to go to Harvard since he could remember. There are no other options than that, really. But how does he say that?

“There’s a scholarship for high school kids in this area that I think you should look into. They require a physics project. Something personal.” His teacher nods firmly. “Think about it, okay?”

“Yes. Thank you.” He bows respectfully, then leaves, mind roiling. He’s so busy thinking that he runs into someone.

“Hey, watch it, nerd!” the kid yells angrily in heavily accented English. He’s easily recognizable as Yuri Plisetsky, junior figure skater, nicknamed “The Russian Punk” for his hair-trigger temper.

“I-I’m sorry,” Yuuri stammers. “I didn’t mean—”

“Come now, Yuri,” a beautiful voice comes, and Yuuri freezes up. 

It’s Victor.

Victor Nikiforov is a junior skater as well, three years older than Yuri and one year older than Yuuri. He’s also generally considered the hottest person in school, and Yuuri wholeheartedly agrees. He’s had a distant crush on him since forever.

But Victor isn’t talking to him, he’s talking to the other Yuri, and he’s flashing a dazzling smile at Yuuri and then he’s gone, almost like he was never there at all.

Yuuri shakes his head firmly to clear it of any Victor-related thoughts. It’s not like Victor will ever realize he exists, anyway, and he has a science project to think about. 

True to form, he does nothing but think about it, especially after his mother expresses her enthusiastic support. What’s a personal science project, anyway? 

He doesn’t get his answer until his best (only?) friend, Yuuko, comes over to watch the Grand Prix Finals with him. They both groan and lower their handmade signs when the onscreen skater botches the jump and falls down hard to the ice.

“He was totally the favorite for first place,” Yuuri says unhappily.

“He’ll still place,” Yuuko reassures him. “His artistic scores are always flawless.”

“Yeah, I hope so. I really thought he had it, though.” He pauses as a thought comes to him. “You know…I bet there’s an exact aerodynamic formula for that kind of jump.”

And with that, he knows exactly what he wants to do for his project. Ice skating. 

He heads the next day out to the local skating rink. Yuuko’s family actually runs it, and he’s been there before, but he’s always felt more comfortable skating alone without other people staring at him.

Soon enough, the junior skaters that train there—Yuri, Victor, and another kid named Phichit—come out onto the ice and begin practicing. Yuuri pulls out his phone and starts recording, but startles and nearly drops his phone when a hand slams down onto his shoulder, hard.

“What are you doing?” an accusatory, Russian-accented voice yells out from behind him. 

“I—I—”

“Surely you are not recording my skaters, because that would be a problem.”

“I—it’s for a school project!” Yuuri protests. “This is a public rink, I didn’t think it would—”

“Private time only right now.” The man, a stern-looking older guy, squints down at Yuuri. “Are you working for someone?”

“What?! No, I—”

“I’m calling the police.”

Yuuri blanches. “Why? I’m just a student, I swear—”

“Then why would you be filming these skaters? They’re training for Regionals, which I’m sure you know. Why would any school care about that?”

Yuuri’s struggling to respond, when, “Yuuri?” comes a surprised voice from the direction of the ice. “What are you doing here?”

Yuuri blinks. “You know my name?”

“I know the name of most people in the school,” Victor says dismissively. “What’s going on, Yakov?”

“School? You know him?” the man—Yakov—asks.

“Sure. He’s a science geek.” The words hit Yuuri like a bullet to the heart, and he winces. It’s not every day you get to hear exactly what your crush thinks of you—or how little he thinks of you, in this case. 

Yakov hesitates, then asks, gruffly, “What is this project you’re doing?”

Yuuri explains, ending with a harried, “I just want to digitize some images of their skating and see if a unified physical theory emerges. I swear, nobody but the scholarship committee will ever see the footage.”

“Hm.” Yakov thinks over the proposition for an agonizing few minutes, then says, “Well, all right, but you had better keep your promise.” Yakov smiles tersely, then snaps, “Yuri, you’re getting lazy. Back to the layback.”

Victor stays behind, looking at Yuuri calculatingly. Finally, he says, “Look, if you want to take a few pictures, I don’t really mind. But if you take any nice shots of my butt, I get to see them before you upload them to Instagram, you got it?” Then he beams, winks, and skates away.

All of the color leaves Yuuri’s face. He doesn’t even know how to respond to that. He just wordlessly takes his phone out and starts filming again.

(And, yes, maybe he takes a few stills of Victor, but nobody needs to know that.)


	2. Chapter 2

Yuuri frowns as he films Yuri doing a complicated combination spin. His phone’s zoom only goes so far. He needs to get closer.

He puts on his secondhand skates—Yuuko might not kill him if he steps on to the ice in his street shoes, but Nishigori, who drives the Zamboni, would consider it—and gets as close as he can to Yuri, who rolls his eyes, but continues practicing.

“You skate?” asks Victor from next to him. Yuuri startles. He hadn’t even noticed him approaching.

“Um…sort of,” Yuuri says, flustered. “Not like you.”

Victor chuckles. “Well, obviously. Skates suit you, though.”

“Stop flirting,” Yakov commands from nearby. “You should be practicing.”

Yuuri colors slightly. Was that flirting?

Victor just laughs, unrepentant. “Oh, come on, Yakov. How can I resist such a cute little piggy?”

…Piggy? Yuuri colors even further and pulls down his shirt out of habit. He’s a bit chubby, but that’s just rude.

“By focusing on how you want to win,” Yakov says, eyes narrowing. “Champions are focused completely.”

“Or maybe they just cheat,” Victor says pleasantly.

Yuuri looks back and forth between Yakov, who looks positively furious, and Victor, who’s still smiling.

“Enough chat,” Yakov finally says. “Back to practice.”

“Yes, yes.” Victor skates away backwards with an insouciant wave, then goes back to practicing his triple flip. He keeps throwing it. Yuuri films it anyway. For…his program, yes.

\---------------

He spends his days at the rink and the rest of his time reviewing the footage and writing formulae. It’s not exactly fun, but it’s apparently his calling, so he supposes he shouldn’t mind. Soon enough, he has a first draft ready for review.

“The conclusion’s too simplistic, isn’t it?” he asks Yuuko worriedly. “The kinetic energy of a jump equals—”

“No, no, it’s great. I can’t even understand it.” She hesitates. “But…”

Yuuri groans. “But?”

“It’s a bit dry, a bit impersonal.”

Yuuri sighs. “Yeah, I know. But how do I make this personal?”

“I don’t know, Yuuri. Just put a little more ‘you’ in it, I guess.”

Yuuri has always been a literal thinker. He lights up. “That’s it! I can enact the principles myself! I can learn a few basics and use my conclusions to improve my skating. That’s got to be ‘me’ enough, right? If I’m actually the one doing it?”

“Sure.” Yuuko wears a bemused smile, but she’s nothing if not helpful. “There’s a beginning class starting next week at the rink, actually. I can get you in.”

“Thank you so much, Yuuko. You’re the best.”

“Yes, I am,” she deadpans, then laughs. “It’ll be fun to watch, at least.”

“All right, class,” Yakov says the next week at the start of the class. “Line up.”

Victor skates in, breathless. 

“Ah, Victor. So nice of you to join us.” Yakov’s voice is sarcastic. “And so late, too.”

“Sorry,” Victor says, not looking very sorry at all. “I forgot.”

“Imagine that.” Yakov straightens up. “Anyway, we’ve got a lot to do if we’re going to be ready for our recital in August. We’ll be working on our toe loop and our Lutz.” 

Victor demonstrates both, and Yuuri watches in fascination. 

“But first, you all have to get comfortable with throwing your bodies up into the air.” Yakov picks out a weird, misshapen black thing. “These will be your new best friend.”

It turns out they’re shorts filled with Styrofoam to cushion the landing from falling. Yuuri quickly grows to hate them, partially out of some conditioned response to associating them with his embarrassing falls, but also because of the smirks Victor sends his way when he spots him with them on.

“Yuuri!” Yakov snaps. “You need to pull your arms in. You’ll spin faster.”

“All right.” Yuuri pulls his arms in.

“Now try that about five thousand more times.”

“…Right.”

His next try, he nearly runs into a kid with blonde hair and a dyed red streak. “I am so sorry,” he apologizes immediately.

“It’s fine,” the kid says, beaming up at him. He’s a cute kid, probably in early middle school somewhere. “I didn’t get hurt.”

“Good.” Yuuri can’t help but smile back softly. “I’m Yuuri, what’s your name?”

“Minami!”

“Minami!” a parent yells from the audience. “Stop socializing, start skating.”

Obediently, Minami jumps, whispering a “sorry”.

“This is a lot of pressure for a recital,” Yuuri comments.

“Well, that’s because it’s not just a recital. It’s a USFSA junior skating test. First step for qualifying for regionals.” Minami pauses, then smiles guiltily. “For us kids, anyway.”

“Oh, I see.”

“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,” he says.

“Good, because at this point I don’t think it’s humanly possible.” He’s sort of joking, so he’s caught off guard when Minami skates over to him angrily.

“You shouldn’t give up like that! You can do anything you want to!”

Yuuri laughs awkwardly. “Oh. Well…thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Minami says, back to normal. “Anyway, I hope to see you there.” He waves awkwardly, then skates away. For a moment, Yuuri thinks the kid is blushing, but he quickly dismisses that idea. It’s cold in the rink, after all, and Yuuri isn’t exactly the sort of person middle school kids pine after.

But, for all his doubts, Yuuri eventually starts to improve, with time and lots of practice. One day, he finally lands a jump. He stands there for a few seconds after, then punches his arm in the air triumphantly.

He hears laughing from behind him, then clapping. “Good job.”

Startled, he falls over. His Styrofoam pants give out, exploding beneath him.

“…Oh.”

Victor is laughing harder now. “That was lovely.”

Yuuri scowls. “I’m glad I could amuse you.”

“No, no. I think you’re cute.” Victor smiles genuinely, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Yuuri’s heart stops a little. “But you don’t have to be so nervous around me, yes?”

“Easier said than done,” Yuuri mutters, then yelps as Victor skates closer, holding out his hand to help Yuuri up.

“I’m just a person, Yuuri,” Victor says lowly. “Just a person, like you.”

“…Sure,” Yuuri says, rolling his eyes. “That’s what every ridiculously hot and talented person tries to say to normal people.”

He doesn’t realize he said it out loud until Victor’s smile widens, and he says delightedly, “You think I am hot?”

“Oh, God,” Yuuri moans. “Kill me.”

Victor is positively grinning now. 

“You know you’re hot,” Yuuri accuses. “So stop smiling like that.”

“Fine, fine.” Victor pauses, then brushes a finger over Yuuri’s cheek. “But for the record, I think you’re far from a normal person.”

Yuuri stares blankly as Victor skates away.

He can’t tell whether that was supposed to be a compliment or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had to throw a cute ketchup child with a baby crush in there
> 
> btw for the record yuuri is currently 17 and victor is 18. yuri is 14, phichit is also 17. (minami is like 12) yuuri will be turning 18 in the fall of this story's current year, so by the time yuuri and victor get together, they will both be over 18. really the 'underage' label is more of a precaution


	3. Chapter 3

Yuuri still works on the program at night, usually into the early morning. It’s coming along, but it’s still a pretty tedious process.

Yuuri’s mother yawns as she pads into his room. “How’s it going?”

“Fine.”

She peeks at the screen and snorts. “You know, I know that ice skating requires an incredible amount of artistry and skill, but I still can’t get past the outfits. Transparent inlays, really? It’s just silly.”

Yuuri doesn’t respond. He’s actually incredibly appreciative of Victor’s semi-transparent skating costumes. 

His mom continues, though. “Honestly, I think if I ever saw you in one of those things, I might cry.”

Yuuri smiles tiredly. “Well, you won’t. So.”

“All right. Get to sleep soon, okay?” She drops a kiss on his head. “I’m worried about you.”

“I will. Thanks, Mom.”

She leaves after that. Yuuri keeps working. He’ll sleep later.

\---------------------

Yuuri scrolls through the various failed video intros, sighing mentally. He just can’t get it quite right. He sounds so robotic.

“Do it just like you’re talking to me,” Yuuko suggests. 

“Really?” he asks, deadpan. “Hey, scholarship committee, I’m Katsuki Yuuri and have I told you lately how distracting I find Victor Nikiforov’s lips?”

She giggles, the phone camera shaking. “Maybe not quite like that.”

He exhales heavily, then tries again. “Hi. I’m Katsuki Yuuri, and I decided to see if I could make myself prove my own hypothesis on the application of physics to the required elements of competitive figure skating.” 

He goes through a couple of the simpler hypotheses he’s created regarding jumps—arms in to increase centripetal force, increasing the jump’s height by applying force to the toepick, then pauses, trying to collect his thoughts as he skates a circle around Yuuko.

“You know, you look kind of hot like this,” she comments amusedly. 

He flushes. “Shut up!”

She shrugs. “Just saying.”

He shoots her a look, then says, “Okay, I’m going to do a bad one first. For the before shot.”

He skates around again, then attempts a jump. He botches the landing and ends up only managing to keep himself from falling by supporting himself with a hand on the ice.

Yuuko laughs. “Yeah, that sucked.”

He scowls. “Okay, fine. Then how about…this?”

He shuts his eyes tightly, then takes a deep breath and skates into another jump. This time, he executes it perfectly.

Both he and Yuuko stand there for a moment, shocked, then Yuuko grins. “You know, Victor is really missing out.”

“Seriously, shut up!” He’s high off adrenaline, though, and he’s grinning too. “You’re the worst.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“No,” he acknowledges. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to do the recital?” Yuuko asks suddenly. “Because I really think you’d do well.”

He frowns. “But, the people—”

“Who cares about the people? Just skate like you did just now.”

“…I’ll think about it.”

“Okay.” She skates over to him, gives him a hug. “That’s all I ask.”

He returns the hug, biting his lip. 

Two days later, he knocks on Yakov’s office door.

“Um, Yakov?”

“Yes?”

“I want to do the recital.”

He nods slowly. “All right. Be here at 5:30, and don’t be late.”

“Oh, but…I have this Harvard alumni tea thing at 3, and…”

“Then what are we talking about?”

“No! I’ll be here.” Yuuri flashes a small, awkward smile, then runs out the door. Then he realizes something and runs back in.

Yakov sees him and rolls his eyes. “You have nothing to wear.”

Yuuri shakes his head, abashed.

“All right. I’ll give you Victor’s phone number. You should be about the same size for one of his old competition costumes to fit you.”

He takes down the phone number as directed, but inside he’s screaming. He’s supposed to, what, just call Victor? Like ‘hey, it’s the science geek, give me your clothes’?

He ends up texting instead, sending off a short message explaining his predicament. 

Victor responds within a minute. “Sure! Just come over by my house and we’ll find something that will work for you.” It’s followed by precisely three winking emoji.

Yuuri pales. What are those emoji for? Is Victor just obsessed with emoji, or is there supposed to be some hidden meaning behind those three winky faces?

But he goes over anyway to the address he is given. Victor greets him with a smile and no mention of the emoji (thank goodness, because Yuuri has no idea how he’d respond) and brings him upstairs to start digging through his costumes.

While he’s doing that, Victor throws over his shoulder, “Any requests?”

“Um…not really.” Yuuri spots something from the bottom of the box. “Wait. That navy blue sparkly one, with the feather motif.”

“Oh?” Victor pauses, then pulls it out. “An interesting choice.”

“Wait, why?”

Victor smiles down at it softly. “This is the costume I was wearing when I came out to the skating world. I had this crown of blue roses, too. It’s a personal favorite.”

“Oh, no, then I couldn’t—”

“No. I think it would look good on you.” Victor looks up at Yuuri, still with that same soft smile. 

“Well, then…thank you.”

“Of course.” 

Yuuri awkwardly takes the costume in hand, and they stare at each other for a few moments. Finally, Yuuri blurts out the first and possibly worst thing to come into his head.

“So, uh…you’re gay?” He immediately winces. “I’m sorry, that’s an awful question—”

“No, it’s all right. Pansexual, actually.” Victor raises an eyebrow. “That a problem?”

“No, of course not! I am too. I mean, um, bi, but…”

“Ah. That’s nice to know.” Victor’s ensuing smile is almost predatory. “You know, sharing clothes like this is so…intimate, don’t you think?”

Yuuri squeaks.

Victor just laughs, shaking his head. “All right. I need to get over to the rink to help set up for the recital tonight. I’ll see you, then?”

“Yes! You will. See me. Because I will be there. And you will also be there, so, um—”

“Yuuri.” Victor brushes a finger over Yuuri’s cheek again, and his eyes are almost fond. “Breathe. Just a person, remember?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know.”

“Okay. Good. See you.”

Despite the admonishment, though, Yuuri doesn’t take a full breath until he’s outside the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> victor thoroughly enjoys flustering yuuri


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you'll understand the recital portion a lot better if you see [this video of the recital from Ice Princess](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiYyGI3A5OM). also it's just adorable

Yuuri doesn’t manage to get out of the Harvard thing until it’s way past the time he would have needed to leave to get to the rink on time. He cycles as fast as he can to the rink, and when he gets there, he immediately bows and yells, “I know I’m late, I’m sorry!”

Yakov gives him a dirty look, but says nothing. The kid—Minami, he remembers—immediately brightens. “You’re here!”

“Yeah!” He exchanges a high five with him, then changes hurriedly.

As soon as he’s in the outfit, he rushes outside of the changing room and takes his place next to all the other kids. The lights on the rink turn on, and Yuuri blanches. This was a terrible idea, he should leave, he should—

“Yuuri. Deep breath,” Victor says, appearing in that silent way of his next to Yuuri.

Yuuri takes a deep breath, holding it confusedly.

“…And then you let it out,” Victor says, amused. 

He does so, then shakes his head desperately, saying, “It didn’t work!”

Victor pats his back, then says, “All right, everyone. It’s time. Good luck!”

Victor heads to the top of the bleachers, next to Yakov. Yuuko is in the audience as well; Takeshi, the same guy who drives the Zamboni, is on light duty. 

Yuuri looks in the crowd, full of the kids’ family, and wishes his mom were here. Even if he is in one of those silly outfits she hates so much. He never had the strength to tell her about it, so it’s not her fault, but he was so afraid she’d be disappointed in him or tell him to stop. And the thing is, he doesn’t really want to stop. He’s had more fun this summer learning to skate than he’s ever once had doing physics.

A bright spotlight turns on him, and the music begins. Minami is behind him, the second in a long line of children, who skate behind him; he turns around on the first word of the song and hushes the other kids in accordance with the choreography. He does it again on the second ‘shh’.

_It’s oh so quiet, shh, shh_

_It’s oh so still, shh, shh_

The kids break away to start circling around him as he spins, bringing his arms above him in a circle. 

_You’re all alone, shh, shh_

_And so peaceful until…_

This is where the song really gets started in earnest, and where he takes a backseat for a while. Yuuri skates to the back of the ‘stage’ they’ve created and stands there as the kids show off what they’ve learned.

On ‘ _this is it_ ’, Yuuri skates to the front of the stage, venturing a peek at Victor, who’s smiling. At him. His stomach drops.

He lands his first jump, a single, then takes a deep breath before launching into the second jump—a double. To his surprise, he lands it without a problem. He grins as he rejoins the line of kids, and for once he doesn’t even mind the silly choreography. 

_…When you fall in love._

As the song finishes up, he spins in the center of the twirling children. 

_Shh._

The audience claps, laughing, as the children go forward to the judges table, clamoring to know what score they received.

Yuuri doesn’t have the confidence to look at his score until Minami goes up to him in the changing room and asks brightly, “How did you do?”

“Oh, uh…I haven’t checked,” he admits.

“Want me to look for you?”

Yuuri laughs. “Sure, thanks.” Minami takes the paper for him, and his eyes go wide.

“Yuuri, this says they certified you as a junior! You skipped two levels!” 

The other kids crowd around, oohing and aahing, but Yuuri can’t hear them. His blood is rushing in his head.

Minami continues, “That’s the same as Victor, Yuri, and Phichit!”

Victor is leaned up against a wall in the corner, smiling.

“Yakov,” Yuuri asks wonderingly, “Is this true? That I’m at a junior level?”

Yakov pauses. “Yes, it’s true.” Then, abruptly, he says, “All right, let’s get all of you back to your parents.”

Victor leaps into action, shepherding all of the kids out of the room. “Minami, don’t forget your bag,” he admonishes. 

Yuuri ignores him, walking up to Yakov. “So…” he says hesitantly. “If I wanted to compete…”

“You can’t.”

Yuuri frowns. “Why not?”

“All that happened tonight was that the judges saw the same thing I’ve been seeing all summer. You’ve got some raw talent. But that’s not enough for a shot at the Regionals. You need a coach, ballet, choreographer, private ice time…Yuri’s grandfather took out a second mortgage just to put him through this, and Phichit’s dad works two jobs.”

Yuuri deflates. “Oh.”

“Where’d you get those skates?” Yakov asks.

“…Garage sale.”

“They’re falling off your feet. You need custom boots, $600 minimum, and the blades need to be sharpened every six weeks.” Yakov stops, taking in Yuuri’s dejected expression. “Okay, you get it? I’m sorry. It is what it is.” He picks up some left-behind coats off the coat hanger and finishes, “You have to want it. You have to want it more than anything else. It’s not something you do on a whim.”

Yuuri feels a bit like crying. How does he explain this isn’t just a whim, that being on the ice feels like coming home? How do you even say that? So he just nods, and watches as Yakov leaves.

He spends the next few weeks trying to think of a solution, but none come to mind. The days come and go, until it’s the first day of his last year of high school. His mom gushes over it, but he’s distracted, honestly, thinking about skating.

It doesn’t help at all when he gets to the school and sees Victor, Phichit, and Yuri all congregated around a locker, all clapping for him.

“Heard you landed a double,” Phichit says happily. 

Yuri glares at him, and Phichit defends, “What? It took me two years to get that down.”

“So…I guess we’ll be seeing you?” Yuri asks, hesitantly, not sounding really happy about it.

“Oh. No. Not at the rink. I can’t train with you guys,” Yuuri says, the hurt rushing back in all at once.

“Why not?” Phichit asks curiously.

“Um…I can’t afford it.” Yuuri shifts his weight to his other foot uncomfortably. “But, I guess…I’ll see you at school?”

He purposefully doesn’t look at Victor. He hasn’t returned the costume yet. He can’t bring himself to. It would feel too much like saying goodbye—to his summer dream of skating and to Victor. He walks away, but Victor follows, Phichit and Yuri in tow.

“Look,” Victor says slowly, “You don’t realize how lucky you are.”

“Me?”

“I love skating, but after a while, when you’ve done everything you can do and nobody is surprised anymore…” Victor shrugs. “It gets old.” He looks like he’s struggling to decide whether or not to say the next part, but he eventually says, “But you? You’re new. You have so much ahead of you, whether it’s in skating or not.”

“But skating is what I want to do,” Yuuri says miserably. “And I can’t do it.”

Phichit interjects, “Nah, I get what Victor is saying. It’s a lot of work, too. At least you have time for friends, Netflix…social media…”

“Dating,” Victor supplies. “You can go on dates.”

Yuuri can’t stop himself from snorting. “Me? Dates? Please.”

“What? Do you not go on them?” Victor asks curiously.

“I guess I would if anyone ever asked me,” Yuuri mumbles, embarrassed.

Victor’s eyes start to light up. “So—”

They’re interrupted, though, by Yuri, who seems angrier than usual. “So what! So what about dates and friends and Netflix. Don’t you just want to skate all the time?”

Yuuri starts to nod, but stops and flushes when Victor and Phichit both deadpan, “No.”

“What is wrong with you?” Yuri demands, looking absolutely disgusted, then storms away.

“Such dedication,” Victor says lightly.

“We must learn from him,” Phichit laughs. “Anyway, I’ll see you all later.”

Yuuri’s despondent mood keeps up until AP Physics, when his teacher from the previous year comes over to his desk, holding his project in his hands. “This is perfect,” he gushes. “It’s so good you could probably sell it.”

Yuuri’s eyes widen as an idea starts to take shape. “Thanks,” he says slowly. “I really appreciate that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yuri...my small, angry child...
> 
> also im totally digging that there are so many ppl who have seen this movie and unironically love it as much as i do lol. for those of u who havent seen it u should at some point even if it's silly


	5. Chapter 5

“Phichit,” Yuuri says, sitting down next to him on the steps outside of school. “What if I told you I could fix your spread eagle?”

He catches Yuri next, at his locker. “How would you like to stop traveling on your sit spin?”

Yuri scowls murderously. “I don’t!”

Yuuri raises his eyebrow.

“Well…maybe I do.”

He approaches Victor with the most trepidation. “You can land your triple flip,” he says to him at the rink. “Clean.”

It takes some convincing, but eventually all of their parents agree to pay him up-front for the use of his program. He’s back in the rink, skating alone, as soon as possible. He just skates aimlessly for a while, enjoying the feeling of it.

“So,” Victor yells from the side of the rink, “You’re back.”

Yuuri stops, starts skating backward, grinning. “Yep!”

“And look, you carved up all of the nice smooth ice.”

Yuuri’s grin drops.

“But,” Victor continues fondly, “It wasn’t so hard watching you do it.”

They smile hesitantly at each other, when Yuuri hears, “Yuuri!”

He whips around. “Mom? What are you doing here?”

“Orthodontist appointment? New nightguard fitting? Ringing any bells?”

Victor’s smile widens as Yuuri flounders. “Mom…”

She pauses, squints at Victor. “And? Who’s this?”

“This is…Victor! He skates. He’s, uh, really good?”

“I see.” His mom’s smile is polite, but pretty obviously strained. “I was under the impression you were working on your project.”

“He was,” Yakov says, suddenly appearing at the top of the stairs. Yuuri really needs to invest in some bells for these Russians. “He’s surprisingly talented.”

“Surprisingly? Who are you?” Yuuri’s mother demands.

“Yakov Feltsman. I’m co-owner of this rink and Victor’s coach.”

She looks dubiously between Yakov and Yuuri, then Yuuri and Victor. “Well, don’t let me interrupt. Carry on with all your fun here.”

“We will,” Victor says with a wink, and Yuuri mentally groans. He has to do that now, of all times?

“Come on, Mom. Let’s go.” He practically drags her out of the rink. Victor continues to not be helpful by waving flirtatiously as he leaves. Jeez.

The next week, he starts his new ‘job’, of sorts—training the other junior skaters. He’s almost surprised the program works so well. Yuri stops traveling, Phichit’s spread eagle is flawless, and Victor lands his triple flip.

“It worked,” Yuuri says wonderingly.

“Just like you said it would,” says Victor, obviously pleased.

“Well…yeah. But the computer doesn’t make the jumps. That was all you, Victor.”

Victor’s mouth quirks up, and he ducks his head, almost like he’s embarrassed. Finally, he says, “Hey, how would you like to catch a movie tonight? Maybe get something to eat beforehand?”

Yuuri could swear his heart stops. “What, like…like a…”

“No,” Yakov says, and Yuuri has never been so irritated at someone for interrupting before. “You have early training tomorrow, and if I let you stay out late you won’t be awake for it.”

Victor’s face falls. “Come on, just this once? You never let me go out with friends.”

Oh. Yuuri’s face falls as well. Friends. Hah. Obviously. 

Victor continues, oblivious, “And I landed my triple flip! I won’t miss the practice, I swear.”

Yakov frowns, considering. Finally, he says, “All right. I’ll hold you to that promise, though.”

Victor whoops victoriously.

“I never said yes, you know,” Yuuri says mulishly. 

Victor’s shoulders droop, but then Yuuri says, sighing, “But I’ll go with you, sure.”

Victor’s entire being lights up, and it’s almost worth saying yes to a not-date just to see it.

The weird thing is, for a not-date, it’s surprisingly…date-ish. Victor picks Yuuri up at home, opens up the car door for him, buys them both popcorn. Yuuri insists on paying for his own movie ticket, though, because he does still have some pride. Maybe not much, but some. His heart hurts from how much he wishes this was something that it isn’t.

They finish the movie, some fantasy movie about a star, and leave the theater, heading to a nearby bench to talk.

“You know, Katsuki Yuuri, you’re actually a lot of fun,” Victor comments. “And talkative. Why aren’t you like this at school?”

Yuuri looks down, abashed. “I don’t…really like sticking out.”

“I guess I can understand that.”

Yuuri tilts his head. “You? You stick out more than anyone.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy it.” Victor shrugs. “Sometimes I’d like to be just Victor to someone, not Victor the figure skater or Victor the hot guy or Victor the pansexual freak.” He leans back against the bench, looking up at the sky. “I’d like someone to just see me, you know?”

Yuuri pauses. “I’m sorry.”

“Hm? For what?”

“I had never really thought of you like that. I’ve always had you up on this…pedestal, I guess? Like you were so unreachable because you’re talented and attractive. But that was wrong of me. It’s like you said from the very beginning. You’re just a person.” He beams over at Victor, who’s looking at him in awe. “A very nice person.”

“Yuuri…” Victor begins, then stops, shaking his head, still looking like he’s seen something incredible.

Hesitantly, Yuuri offers, “I guess this is a weird thing to say after all that, but if you ever need someone to just be yourself around, I’d like to be that person for you.”

Victor is still looking at him strangely, and sort of, like, leaning forward? Maybe he’s tired. Yuuri politely moves out of the way, thoroughly missing Victor’s crushed expression, and searches for something to say, ending up with an awkward, “I may just be a science geek, but…”

Victor frowns immediately, scooching forward on the bench and taking Yuuri’s hands in his. “Don’t say that.”

Yuuri immediately withdraws, flushing. “Oh, sorry. That was presumptuous.”

“No, I mean…’just a science geek’. That’s what I thought of you at first too, but you’re not ‘just’ anything, Katsuki Yuuri. You are so much more, and please never say that any part of yourself is anything less than important and wonderful, because that’s what you are.”

Yuuri turns redder. “Oh…um…”

Then, surprisingly, Victor starts to blush as well. “Sorry,” he mutters. “I said too much.”

“No,” Yuuri says, still red but not wanting Victor to feel embarrassed for saying probably the nicest thing that he’s ever heard from anyone. He squeezes Victor’s hands back. “Thank you.”

Victor looks like he’s about to say something else, but he just smiles softly. “We should get home.”

At first, Yuuri’s heart flutters at the way that Victor says ‘we’ and ‘home’, like where they belong is together. But then Yuuri remembers. He remembers that this was just a friendly outing between friends, and that he is going to go home and wake up from this dream.

“Yeah,” he says, and his heart is a stone in his chest. “We should.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're a fan of the movie you'll note i deviated from canon. but i figured yuuri wouldn't exactly like being left alone at a party by victor so i had them go on a 'not-date' instead
> 
> the movie they saw was, of course, stardust bc idk if i'll ever write it but just imagine a yoi stardust au with yuuri as tristan and victor as yvaine...just...it would be so good


	6. Chapter 6

Yuuri can’t help but feel stretched out too thin. When he’s not at the rink, he’s at the gym, or at ballet with his new teacher Minako. When he’s not doing those things, he’s at home struggling to study, or at school struggling to stay awake.

He has another problem, too. He’s been going it alone as best as he can, but he’s no choreographer. He needs something to skate at Regionals.

Help comes from an unexpected place. Victor is watching him speculatively one day when he says, “You know, I choreograph my own pieces.”

Yuuri nods. “Yeah, I know.”

“And you need someone who can choreograph.”

“…Yeah?”

“Like me.”

“Similar, yes.” Yuuri is still skating around listlessly.

Victor laughs fondly, leaning over the edge of the rink. “Yuuri, I’m offering to choreograph a program for you.”

Yuuri skids to a stop on the ice, turning around, eyes wide. “Really?!”

“Really. I’ve been working on something recently that I can’t use, and I think it would be perfect for you.” He taps his chin thoughtfully. “I don’t know what to do about your short, but I can give you something for your free skate, at least.”

“No, no! I can figure out something. I can’t believe this, you’re amazing.” 

Victor smiles, a hint of color on his cheeks. “Just do it justice.”

“I’ll do my best!”

After that, he starts practicing with Victor in addition to everything else. Victor is an exacting teacher, but his talent in both skating and choreography is undeniable. 

It all comes falling down when he comes home one day from the rink, only a few days before Regionals. He’s been telling his mother he’s been tutoring, which is…sort of true, since he’s still technically helping out the other junior skaters, but it’s more lie than truth, really. 

“Where have you been?” his mother asks.

“Stayed late at school,” he says, the lie tightening his throat.

“No, I mean, where have you been all week?”

“Just…this whole tutoring thing. You know.” 

“I don’t know why you’re investing so much time in this kid.”

“He needs my help. Tenth grade is difficult.”

His mom pauses, and her eyes narrow. “You said he was in ninth grade.”

“Oh, um…well, yeah, I just…”

“Are you lying to me, Yuuri?”

He shuts his eyes, whispers, “Yes.”

“I knew it.” He can’t bring himself to look at her. “What have you really been doing? Certainly not studying. I saw that you got a C on a test.”

“I—”

“You do realize what is at stake with your grades right now, don’t you?”

“Of course, but—”

“So what is it? Is this some kind of rebellion?”

“Mom, no!”

“Is it…the boy? The skater?”

“Victor?! No!” Well, sort of actually, but definitely not in the way she’s thinking and certainly not in the way he wants. “Look, I feel really bad about the C, okay? I just have been so tired—”

“From what? Yuuri, you can talk to me!”

“Not about this!” he yells, and immediately regrets it. His mother looks stricken.

“I—I’m sorry, okay, please just don’t—”

“Yuuri, wait—”

She pulls on his backpack to stop him, and the zipper comes undone. His skates and Victor’s costume come spilling out.

They both stare at them for a long moment. 

That night at dinner is intensely awkward. Finally, Yuuri works up the courage to say, “Mom, I just want to compete at Regionals.”

“Why? What do you have to gain by this?”

Yuuri looks down at his plate and whispers, “I’m good. At skating, I mean.” 

“So, what are you saying? You just want to blow off our whole plan for you, chuck the scholarship, and become a professional athlete?”

He doesn’t respond.

“What’s the shelf life on an ice skater? Eight years? And then a few years touring with has-beens on ice. And that’s it? That’s the end of your life?”

Yuuri puts down his fork. Desperately, he says, “I love it, Mom.”

“Yuuri, there’s no shelf life on your mind!” his mom exclaims. “And if I’d learned to use mine a little sooner, if I had gone to college and started that inn business like I wanted to, maybe we wouldn’t be living like this!”

Yuuri frowns and protests, “There’s nothing wrong with the way we live.”

“I have not been able to give you a quarter of the things I’ve wanted to!” his mom says loudly, and he’s surprised at how vulnerable she looks.

“Mom, you’ve given me everything!”

She stops her tirade, processes that. Then she says quietly, “Then you need to give me something now.”

He stares at her, hurt, and she gets up and leaves the table, slamming the door to her room behind her.

But as much as he wants to make her happy, as much as he wants to see her smile again, he can’t. Not by giving up skating. He’s gotten too much from it to give it up now.

He sneaks out early the day of Regionals and cycles to the rink, where Yakov is waiting with a van to drive the skaters to Westerly, where the competition is being held.

“Well, well. Looks like we’re picking up a stray,” Victor comments delightedly when he shows up (only a few minutes late, but Victor is probably gloating that he somehow managed to get there before him despite his habitual lateness). “Is your mom not coming?”

Yuuri grimaces and hopes it looks something like a smile. “She, uh…she doesn’t really like skating.”

Victor looks at him solemnly, then nods. “I see.” Then he brightens. “Hey, watch this.” He walks up to Yuri and says, “Hey, Yuri. Everyone’s saying you and I are going to take first and second today.”

Yuri’s eyes widen and a smile starts to play at the corner of his lips. Then his brows draw together and he starts scowling. “Nice try.”

Yuuri watches, bemused, as Yuri gets into the van, now fuming. “What was that?”

“Classic psych-out. Softens up the competition, makes them think they don’t have to go all-out to win.” Victor is grinning. “Don’t ever fall for it.”

“Got it.” 

Victor puts a hand on Yuuri’s arm and continues seriously, “And no matter what happens in the short program, just keep telling yourself it’s only one third of the score. Never freak until after the long.”

“Freak after the long. Okay.”

Victor smiles softly. “Don’t worry. You’re going to do great.”

Yuuri squints at him. “Is that a psych-out too?”

“No, just what I think.” Victor squeezes his arm, then lets go. “Let’s get going, then.”

They both get in the van. Yuuri is pressed up against Victor for the entire ride as Victor whispers laughingly in his ear. It’s the best car ride he’s ever been on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yuuri's mom canonically would never do this but it's part of the movie so :/ sorry hiroko ilu
> 
> i agonized over what songs to pick for yuuri's program for hours and ended up going with like...one of the first songs i listened to lol. i'm still not completely satisfied with them but i'm also not comfortable with 17-year-old Yuuri skating the eros program lol. stay young yuuri my child........


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The version of I've Gotta Be Me that Yuuri skates to in this is by Ryan Tedder ([here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qI-GyfgohEk).)

They arrive at the competition rink. When they walk in, Victor waves happily at another skater.

“That’s Christophe Giacometti,” he says to Yuuri in a low voice as the boy walks over. “He’s a huge flirt, but don’t let it get to you, he’s totally kidding.”

“Victor!” Christophe exclaims. “When are you going to agree to go on that date with me?”

Victor laughs. “See? Huge jokester.”

Christophe’s smile gets tighter. Yuuri tugs down Victor and whispers hotly, “I really don’t think he’s—”

“And who is this?” Christophe asks lightly. “He’s cute.”

Victor hugs Yuuri to him from the side. “This is Katsuki Yuuri. He is, isn’t he?”

Yuuri sputters. “Victor, jeez—”

“You two together?”

“No!” Yuuri shouts embarrassedly.

At the same time, Victor says with a wink, “Not yet!”

Yuuri freezes, then pulls away from Victor sullenly. “Now who’s joking?” Then, shaking his head at how obvious he’s probably being, he walks off.

“Yuuri, wait—” Victor chases after him, Christophe watching with pursed lips in the background.

“Yuuri!” Victor yells as he catches up to him easily. “I don’t get it, what did I do?”

“…Nothing. It’s nothing. I’m just being…” Yuuri shakes his head again, crossing his arms and looking away. “Yeah. It’s nothing.”

“It’s obviously not,” Victor says with a frown. 

“Victor, please just don’t ask.”

Victor pauses, then nods. “Fine. Okay. Changing the subject.”

Yuuri smiles at him, relieved. “Thanks.”

Victor looks at Yuuri up and down speculatively, then asks abruptly, “Hey, you ever wear makeup?”

“No?”

“Are you against it?”

“I guess not? But I don’t think—”

“Excellent. We have some time before the first skater goes on.” He grins deviously. “Let’s get you in some eyeliner.”

Victor does his makeup facing away from the mirror, so he can’t see what’s going on. Yuuri doesn’t entirely get what’s going on, especially when Victor takes a look at the lip gloss applicator and cheerfully declares, “We don’t need this,” opting instead to put it on with his finger. Yuuri nearly faints.

Victor studies his work, then beams, something strange and soft in his eyes.

“What’s that look for? Do I look that bad?”

“No, of course not.” Victor turns Yuuri around to face the mirror, still smiling over his shoulder, his cheek brushing up against Yuuri’s. “See?”

Yuuri stares at his reflection. 

He looks…

“Beautiful,” Victor breathes next to him. When Yuuri sends him a confused look, he straightens up and says awkwardly, “My makeup job, I mean. I’m quite good, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, you are.” Yuuri impulsively takes Victor’s hand and squeezes it. “Thank you.”

Victor mutters something under his breath in another language—Russian, presumably—and takes a deep breath. “Of course.” Then Victor drops his gaze. “I should…probably get going. I’m up soon.”

“I’ll be watching.” Yuuri hopes vainly that that doesn’t sound as besotted as he thinks it does. “Good luck.”

Christophe enters the room, pausing to look at the direction of the doorway through which Victor has just exited. Finally he says, “You should probably know something about Victor.”

Yuuri frowns. “What do you mean?”

Christophe continues without answering, “Victor is in love with skating. Nothing and nobody else will ever be as important to him. So you should probably give up now.”

Yuuri takes a step back. “I don’t get what you’re saying.”

“Sure you don’t. I’m saying he doesn’t care about you, okay? He smiles at you and makes you think you’re the only person in the room and then he leaves you alone and he goes out there and he wins and he never thinks twice about you again.” 

“Victor’s not like that.”

Christophe laughs harshly. “He is _exactly_ like that. Stop fooling yourself.”

Yuuri can’t deal with all of his fears being validated, so he just glares at Christophe and leaves the room.

He heaves a sigh as he laces up his old skates. He knows he’s not special, he’s always known that. He knows that Victor is never going to return his feelings. But it’s still hard to hear.

He watches all of the skaters in an almost dreamlike state, some combination of dejection and anxiety. Phichit’s artistic expression is always excellent, but he loses points on missed jumps. Yuri has amazing technical skill for his age, but gets distracted and doesn’t always pay attention to the other program components, which is a nice way of saying he scowls the entire time. Christophe’s music selection is…unique, some dark, sensual beat, but he seems to enjoy himself at least, and his artistic and technical marks are both fairly high.

Victor is second to last on the roster and pretty much flawless, as per normal. Yuuri flashes him a thumbs up as he finishes and Victor returns it, grinning. 

“Good luck,” Victor says breathlessly as he passes Yuuri. “Knock ‘em dead, okay? I’ll be watching.”

Yuuri doesn’t miss the echo, and he smiles privately before skating out onto the ice. He takes a deep breath. 

The piano starts. He raises a hand out, like he’s reaching for something, then pulls it back in, places it over his heart.

He starts skating.

_Whether I’m right_  
_Or whether I’m wrong_  
_Whether I find a place in this world, or never belong_

_I’ve gotta be me_

On this, he attempts his first jump, a double axel. The landing is a little bit shaky, his boots shifting under him, but he manages to stay up.

_I’ve gotta be me_  
_What else can I be but what I am?_  
_I’ve gotta be me._

The step sequence starts in earnest here.

_I want to live_  
_Not merely survive_  
_And I won’t give up on this dream of life that keeps me alive._

Flying sit spin.

_I’ve gotta be me_  
_I’ve gotta be me_  
_Oh, what else could I be but what I am?_

Double lutz, triple toe loop. The crowd starts cheering for him.

_Yeah, I’ve gotta be me._

Camel spin.

_I said, I-I, oh eh-eh, I gotta be me-e, oh yeah yeah,_  
_I gotta be me-e, oh yeah-ah, I gotta be, I said, I gotta be_

He skates into a triple flip. He swears he can hear Victor screaming from the crowd.

Yakov asks Victor, “Did you know he had a triple flip?”

Victor shrugs, beaming. “He came to win.”

“He figured that out on his computer.”

Victor looks over at Yakov, frowning. “Yakov, the computer doesn’t make the jumps for you.” Then he returns to watching Yuuri.

_Oh eh-eh, oh eh-eh, I gotta be me-e, oh yeah,  
I gotta be me-e, oh eh-eh, I gotta be, I gotta be_

Yuuri feels like he’s floating. He continues the step sequence from earlier, lifting his arms into the air. 

_I gotta be me, yeah, I gotta be me, yeah,  
What else could I be but who I am?_

Combination spin, starting out low and ending up high.

_I gotta be me._

The crowd goes wild on the ending note, and Yuuri grins, bowing to the judges and then to the audience. 

When the results for the short come out, Victor is on top, with Christophe in second, Yuri in third, and Phichit in fourth. Yuuri is in fifth.

“Fifth, that’s amazing!” Victor enthuses, grabbing Yuuri by the arms.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t go to Sectionals,” Yuuri says, subdued.

“Well, hey. Skate a clean program tonight and you might be able to knock Phichit out of fourth.” Victor winks, then leaves to go get lunch. 

They both miss Yakov’s eyes narrowing as he looks at the results and then at Yuuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok seriously watch the makeup scene in the original ice princess and tell me that gen and casey are not made for each other smh
> 
> again if you're familiar with the movie i deviated, obviously, and will continue to do so. yakov is coaching all three of the other junior skaters instead of just victor (like tina did gen). and he's just an awfully sore loser which im p sure is canon lol
> 
> forgive me for the 'choreography' lol i basically just copypasted the 2016 junior men's short requirements whoops


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S HERE...

“You nearly lost a boot out there,” Yakov says as he walks up to Yuuri.

Yuuri looks down at his skates, then sighs. “Yeah. They’re giving out.”

“I think you should come with me.”

Yakov leads him to the in-rink shop and has him try on a new set of black skates, Yuuri protesting all the while.

“How do they feel?” Yakov asks.

“I really can’t accept this,” Yuuri says, troubled. 

“Just prove to me you deserve it.” Yakov hands over his credit card to the shop employee. “We’ll need new blades too. Thanks.”

“Yakov…I can’t believe that you would help—”

Yakov scowls in his normal, charming way. “No fawning.”

“No. Just…thank you.” He doesn’t really know what else he can say. “Really.”

Yakov nods gruffly, then leaves.

The new skates are beautiful, but they hurt. Yuuri winces as he walks around with them, trying hopelessly to stretch them out.

“And the next skater is Katsuki Yuuri, from Connecticut,” the announcer says brightly.

Yuuri can barely even concentrate on his skating, and it shows. Luckily he doesn’t have to fake a smile, because he doesn’t think he could manage it. He falls on his first jump and struggles to get back up, the pain in his feet debilitating. He lands his next jump, but the damage is done. He stays in fifth. 

He takes off his new skates and balks. It’s worse than he thought. There are open sores all over his feet.

Christophe walks in and immediately frowns. “Were those new skates?”

“Yeah,” Yuuri says, looking away. He doesn’t really want to talk to Christophe.

“Seriously? You can’t compete on new skates. They take, like, a minimum of ten days to break in. Did you not know?” 

“But—Yakov didn’t say—”

“You mean Yakov, who nearly had a skater knocked out of Sectionals because of you?” Christophe scoffs. “You may be cute, but you really don’t know anything. You might want to reconsider that no-coach thing.”

As Christophe walks out, he throws over his shoulder, “Bye, new kid.”

Yuuri feels like crying, but he keeps the tears at bay. Yakov…tricked him? Just because there was the barest chance Phichit might not move on? And everyone just let him do it.

Victor.

Victor let him do it.

He hobbles out of the changing room, each step agony. Yakov and his skaters, including Victor, happen to be passing by, chatting happily.

“Oh, Yuuri! I was looking for you—” Victor starts.

Yuuri ignores him. “Are you happy about my feet?” he asks, his voice breaking.

Yakov pauses. Then, delicately, he says, “I’m sorry, Yuuri, but your old skates were a mess.”

Victor’s head snaps over to look at Yakov in horror. “You bought him new skates?”

“Please,” Yuuri says, and those are definitely tears. “Like you didn’t know.”

Victor draws back, eyes wide. “Yuuri, I didn’t!”

“How can you lie to my face?” Yuuri closes his eyes, keeps them shut tight, as if not seeing Victor will make the pain go away. “You’re just as bad as he is.”

Phichit steps forward. “Yuuri, seriously, we—”

“No! Just stop it, all of you. You—really made me think—” He’s sobbing now, wiping ineffectually at his face. “You made me think we were friends. Even—” He takes a peek at Victor, who looks like his heart is breaking.

Yuuri thinks his already has.

“Yuuri, please,” Victor says, his voice low and rough with emotion. “Please just—”

“Don’t talk to me. None of you. Ever again.”

With that, he turns and limps back into the changing room so that he can break down in private.

When he’s got his tears under control, he gets his phone out and calls his mom. “Mom? Can you come get me?”

“Why? Where are you?”

“I’m at the rink at Westerly.”

“Westerly?! Yuuri, what—”

“Please, Mom. I want to come home.”

His mom acquiesces, and he waits outside for her, the cold air drying the remaining tears on his face. She comes screeching into the lot just as Yakov is getting into the van.

“Yuuri, get in the car,” she snaps as she storms forward, all five feet of her.

Yakov stops in his tracks and turns around.

“How dare you just walk away after injuring my son?” she demands. “How could you do that? What kind of person are you?”

“It’s Hiroko, right?” Yakov asks calmly.

“Pulling him away from his studies, filling his head with dreams of becoming a professional skater, then crushing any chance he might have had?”

“I did you both a favor. You didn’t want this for Yuuri, and you’re right. He’s not cut out for it. Is he gifted? I’ll give him that. But he will never fight for it. And he’s too polite to do what you have to do, which is to push past everyone and everything and just take it.” He starts to walk away again.

“Like you did?” Hiroko asks. “I looked you up, you know. You were banned from skating for injuring another skater in warmups. Is that what you mean?”

Yakov stops dead. 

“My son is brilliant,” Hiroko says, her voice filled with quiet fury. “He will succeed at anything he does. But he will do it the right way, despite people like you telling him otherwise.”

She gets back in the car, leaving Yakov.

Neither of them say anything on the car ride home, and if this morning had been his favorite ride ever, this one might be his least. His mom is clearly angry, and now that the initial indignation and sadness have worn off for Yuuri, he just feels numb.

They don’t really end up discussing it. Yuuri goes back to studying every day. His mom is happy, more or less.

Everything is as it should be.

And if Yuuri looks at the frozen pond outside their house and feels the cold air on his cheeks and dreams of flying in the air again, and if he still sees Victor when he closes his eyes, well…he can always just open his eyes and close the curtains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor bbs :(


	9. Chapter 9

“Yuuri, wait up!” Victor says desperately.

Yuuri walks faster, pointedly not looking at him.

“I can keep up with you. I’m in very good shape.”

Yuuri finally speaks. “Go away.” 

Victor’s voice catches. “Yuuri, I didn’t know!”

Yuuri scoffs. “Right.”

Victor finally stops chasing after him, watching him round the corner unhappily.

“Victor, where have you been?” Yakov’s voice rings out in the corridors of the school. “The first day I thought you overslept, the second day I thought you were perhaps sick, but three days you haven’t been to practice. Three days, Victor!”

“I know.”

“And?”

Victor closes his eyes briefly, then opens them and says dully, “And I’m done.” 

He heads to his locker, knowing Yakov will come after him.

“Done?” Yakov asks incredulously.

“I’m quitting.”

Yakov huffs. “You’ve got to be kidding. That’s ridiculous.”

“Ridiculous? What’s ridiculous is me pretending for years that skating hadn’t lost meaning for me, just because I didn’t know who I would be without it. What’s ridiculous is that I only found inspiration when I saw Yuuri skate, and now he’s stopped skating, and you still think I’m going to continue on under your tutelage.” Victor steps forward, face and tone icy. “What’s ridiculous is that you don’t even realize what you’ve done. Did you seriously think you could hurt Yuuri and get away without repercussions?”

“I—” Yakov is sputtering. “I don’t—”

“Phichit has already found a new coach. Yuri’s staying, but don’t expect him to respect you knowing the kind of person you are.” 

Yakov’s face goes red. 

Victor smiles sweetly. “Goodbye, Yakov.” Then he, too, rounds the corner…

…and finds Yuuri, who’s been listening awkwardly.

Victor immediately winces. “Did you hear all that?”

“Yeah.” Yuuri steps forward and wraps Victor into a tight hug. “Thank you. I’m sorry for not believing you.”

Yuuri misses Victor going red, but he doesn’t miss him melting into the hug, nuzzling into Yuuri’s cheek. “No, I’m sorry.”

Yuuri pulls back, also slightly red. “Is it…true that I inspired you?”

“Yuuri, you’re the first person who’s made me feel anything in a long time,” Victor says seriously, then ducks his head, embarrassed. “Your skating, I mean. It’s like you create music with your body. It’s beautiful.”

Yuuri flushes deeply. 

Victor puts a hand on Yuuri’s cheek and asks softly, “Are you really done? Because I would give anything to see you skate one more time.”

“But—Sectionals—”

“I’m dropping out, Yuuri. There’s a slot wide open for you.”

Yuuri hates himself for leaning into Victor’s hand, and he hates himself for how weak he sounds when he protests, “But I don’t have a coach—”

Victor grins in a way that looks entirely too self-satisfied as he breathes, “I have an idea for that, actually.”

Victor’s so close now that Yuuri could kiss him if he just leaned forward and closed the gap. His weak heart is considering doing just that, just once, when he hears Phichit in the background amusedly saying, “Please kiss already. I’ll get so many likes on Instagram.”

Yuuri shrieks and hops about a foot backward. 

Victor scowls darkly. “Phichit, I hate you so much.”

Phichit blows him a kiss, then pauses before running forward and hugging Yuuri. “Yuuri, I’m so sorry, I swear I didn’t know about the skates—”

“Yeah, I know.” Yuuri smiles at him. “I should have believed you guys from the start. I’m sorry.”

“No, I get why you didn’t.” Phichit steps back, grinning. “Now we should find Yuri and get him to hug you too, fulfill the triad. It would be hilarious.”

“I don’t want to die today,” Yuuri says, laughing. “Anyway, Victor, what’s your idea?”

Victor, who’s been looking pretty pissed off and was muttering something in Russian, immediately brightens. “Oh! Well, you need a coach, right?”

“Yes?”

“I’ll be your coach!”

Phichit immediately bursts out into laughter. 

Victor pouts, and Phichit blanches. “Oh, man, you’re serious.”

“Of course I am!”

Phichit frowns. “Victor, you’re 18.”

“Yes.”

“You don’t have any quads yet.”

“True.”

“You are utterly unqualified to be a coach.”

“Probably! But it’s only until Sectionals, okay? We’ll find him someone, but right now we don’t have time. And anyway, everyone starts somewhere. We can learn together.”

Phichit leans over and whispers something to Victor, his face dubious.

Victor scrunches up his face in response and whispers back.

Phichit sighs. “Well, I guess all that matters is what Yuuri thinks. Yuuri?”

\-----------------------

“What do you mean you’re not going to the Harvard interview?”

“I mean I’m not going. To the interview or to Harvard.”

“Are you nervous or something? Because—”

“No, Mom, I’m not nervous. I’m not going because I have something else I need to be doing.”

“And what might that be?”

He pauses, then says, “Mom, I want to skate.”

“Still?” she asks angrily. “After what happened to you?”

“What happened was awful, but if I let it get me down, Yakov wins. I’ll still take college courses, but I just want to—”

“Want to what?! Throw away all of your dreams?”

“Mom, going to Harvard was never my dream! It was yours! This is mine!” Yuuri yells, then immediately regrets it. His mom looks absolutely crushed.

She’s silent for a long while, but finally she says, “…Fine. You can do what you want.”

“Mom, please—just come watch me skate. You’ll understand then.”

“Don’t ask me to do that!”

“Just once, Mom! Please!” Yuuri begs.

“No! You can do what you want, but you can’t make me like it, or understand it. That’s not going to change just because I see you jumping around in a silly costume.” 

Yuuri’s face falls, and for the first time in the conversation, she seems regretful.

“…I have work,” she mumbles. “I’ll see you later.”

She leaves, and Yuuri crumples on the couch.

He supposes he’s not that surprised that she didn’t react well. It’s been all Harvard since he was old enough to understand the word.

But he meant what he said. This is his dream, and he wants to go after it. He’s going to go after it.

He’s going to Sectionals with Victor as his coach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phichit why
> 
> is it entirely unrealistic that victor would be able to be even a stopgap coach for yuuri? lol obviously. but i didnt want yakov to do it and my only other option was celestino so...shrug. willing suspension of disbelief?
> 
> (note: when phichit and victor were whispering to each other, phichit asked 'are you only doing this because you have a major crush on him?' and victor responded 'well, partially, but is that so wrong? he needs help and i can help him.')


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song for Yuuri's FS is [Higher Than Higher by Take That](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8YkKMVMWyA).

“Welcome to ESPN’s coverage of the Eastern Sectionals Junior Men’s Short Program. I’ve gotta say, Michelle, these kids are definitely fired up from what I’ve seen of the warmup session.”

“That’s right, Brian. Every skater has worked unbelievably hard to get here, and every one of them is ready to compete.”

Yuuri practices his jumps, wary of the watchful eye of not only Victor but Yakov and, well. Tons of other people. Yuuko is also in the audience with Takeshi, and he’s pretty sure his ballet teacher Minako said she was coming too.

But the one person he wants to be here isn’t. His mom is working, and she made it pretty clear she would continue to do so until long after the competition is over.

He gets off the ice to watch the other skaters. First up is Christophe, then Phichit. Yuuri and Victor cheer for him together. The next is a skater that Yuuri has never met but Victor vaguely knows, Leo. All of the cheers for him are drowned out by the excited screeches of some Chinese kid who looks to be around Yuri’s age.

Next up is Yuri. Victor whispers to Yuri that Yakov had brought in his ex-wife to train him, and it definitely shows in his movements. He’s always been skilled, but he has a kind of grace now that he didn’t before.

Yuuri follows the other Yuri, and unlike the first time, he nails all of his technical components. He skates off the ice feeling very pleased. When the results come out, they place him in fourth.

“Did you see that?” he enthuses to Victor, who walks with him to the changing room. “4.8s to 4.9s, one 5.0!”

“And one 4.6,” Victor says placidly. “Now, I’m not seeing a lot of fluidity in your movements out there, and I think that hurt you artistically. Remember—”

“My next movement should always be an extension of the previous one,” Yuuri recites. “I know.” He smiles at Victor. “You know, you really sound like a coach right now.”

Victor grins back. “I’ll take that as a compliment. Now, rub your feet for a minimum of five minutes and drink lots of water. I’ll be back after you’re done changing.” He starts to leave, then pauses. “But Yuuri? For the record, I’m proud of you.”

“It’s only the short,” Yuuri says, feeling happy but not wanting to be egotistical.

“Yeah, well, I lied. If you tank the short you can never win.” Victor smiles one last time before finally leaving.

Yuuri changes into his costume—another old one of Victor’s, but this one is midnight blue and sprinkled with crystals over transparent fabric. It’s one of the prettiest things he’s ever seen, really, and when he saw it he knew he had to wear it.

When Victor sees Yuuri in the costume, something in his eyes goes soft and he rushes forward to hug him. “You look wonderful,” he murmurs. 

Yuuri doesn’t flush as much as he used to at Victor’s constant compliments, but he still colors slightly. “Thank you.”

Phichit comes off the ice, breathless, and Yuuri exchanges a high five with him. “Sorry, I only caught the tail end,” Yuuri apologizes. “But you looked great.”

“Thanks!” Phichit slings an arm around Yuuri’s shoulder, throwing a smirk over his shoulder at an irritated Victor, then asks quietly, “So, how are things with your mom? Did you ever make up?”

Yuuri pauses. “We’ve…barely spoken since I told her I wasn’t going to Harvard.”

Phichit pats him on the back sympathetically, then drops his arm. “All right, well, I’ll give you back to Victor, then.”

“See you.” Yuuri waves goodbye to Phichit, then sits on a set of chairs set up near the rink.

“All right, this is it.” Victor sits next to him. “You can lose the free skate right now if you don’t prepare properly. Put these in,” he orders, pulling out a pair of earplugs.

“Why?”

“You don’t want to know how the other skaters are doing. If they fall, you’ll get complacent; if they do well, you’ll feel pressure.”

Yuuri nods and puts in the earplugs. However, he does pull them out in time to hear that Yuri has moved up to first place in the rankings.

“Okay. You ready?”

“Almost.” Yuuri takes a deep breath. “Hey, you never told me. Why did you choose this music for my program?”

Victor pauses. “Let’s just say I felt it applicable.”

Yuuri looks at Victor, but he’s looking away, fidgeting slightly. “Well, okay.”

“Okay. Time to go. I’ll be watching,” Victor says with a wry grin. “Obviously.”

Yuuri huffs. “Yeah, yeah.”

“And Yuuri?”

“Yes?”

“Skate with your heart.” 

Yuuri nods, then skates out onto the ice.

The song begins. Yuuri keeps his head down, until, 

_I used to be broken_  
_Stuck in a cage_  
_I used to be low down_  
_I couldn’t be saved_  
_Now I feel like a lion_  
_That cannot be tamed_  
_Cause you brought me back to life, to life again_

He starts the step sequence.

_I was fearless but so easily_  
_I let life fade away the color of my dreams_  
_Now you’re with me, I know I can be_  
_Higher, higher than higher_

He attempts his first jump, a triple Salchow, but his mind is elsewhere. Skate with your heart…it sounds like something his mom might have said, if she were here and if she cared. He falls down hard onto the ice.

_You’re lifting me up_

Wincing, he gets back up.

_If you weren’t, you weren’t here_  
_I’d be on the ground_  
_If you weren’t, you weren’t here_  
_I’d be out of my mind_  
_‘Cause you are, you are here_  
_I can be higher, higher than higher_

Flying sit spin. His heart isn’t in it.

_You’re lifting me up_  
_If you weren’t, you weren’t here_  
_I’d be lost in the fire_  
_If you weren’t, you weren’t here_  
_Couldn’t open up my eyes_  
_‘Cause you are, you are here_  
_I can be higher, higher than higher_  
_You’re lifting me up_

Suddenly, he sees her.

His mom. She’s in the audience, smiling.

He beams helplessly back. 

_The sky is a long way_  
_When covered in rain_  
_You gave me my vision_  
_You gave me my faith_  
_And now I’m a fighter_  
_I found the flame_  
_You set me alight, alight again_

_I was careless, and so easily_  
_I let life fade away the color of my dreams_  
_Now you’re with me, I know I can be_  
_Higher, higher than higher_

Triple loop, but this time he executes it perfectly.

_You’re lifting me up_  
_If you weren’t, you weren’t here_  
_I’d be on the ground_  
_If you weren’t, you weren’t here_  
_I’d be out of my mind_  
_‘Cause you are, you are here_  
_I can be higher, higher than higher_  
_You’re lifting me up_

Still feeling like he’s flying, he throws in a triple Lutz. The crowd screams for him. He can’t stop smiling.

_If you weren’t, you weren’t here_  
_I’d be lost in the fire_  
_If you weren’t, you weren’t here_  
_Couldn’t open up my eyes_  
_‘Cause you are, you are here_  
_I can be higher, higher than higher_  
_You’re lifting me up_

Triple axel. He does a double toe loop after it too, just because he can.

_Just one way for us now_  
_There’s no coming down_  
_You’ve brought me back to life_  
_So I’m gonna go up_  
_Higher, higher than higher_  
_Higher than higher, higher than higher_

Choreographic sequence. This is the fun part.

_You’re lifting me up_  
_‘Cause you are, you are here_  
_I got my feet off the ground_  
_‘Cause you are, you are here_  
_Still losing my mind_  
_‘Cause you are, you are here_  
_I can be higher, higher than higher_

_You’re lifting me up_

_‘Cause you are, you are here_  
_Now I’ve found the fire_  
_‘Cause you are, you are here_  
_I can open up my eyes_  
_‘Cause you are, you are here_  
_I can be higher_  
_Higher than higher_  
_Higher than higher_

Combination spin, into, 

_You’re lifting me up._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> victor could you BE more obvious
> 
> (the answer is technically yes, as we will see next chapter winku)
> 
> next chapter is the last! sorry i probably should have updated the count earlier but i forgot;;


	11. Chapter 11

He stays still in the closing position for a few moments, breathing hard as the crowd goes wild. Then he puts on his best smile and bows to both sides of the audience.

Skating off, he sees Victor with a strange look on his face.

“Victor?” he asks, confused.

“Yuuri…” He starts muttering something in Russian again.

Yuuri frowns. “Victor, you know I can’t understand you when you speak Russian.”

Yuri, who’s passing by, rolls his eyes disgustedly. “He’s saying he really wishes he could kiss you right now.”

Victor blanches. “Yuri! You—”

“Wait…really?”

Victor sighs. “Yes. Sorry, I know you don’t like me like that, but—”

Yuuri, feeling emboldened by his successful skate and by Victor’s words, murmurs, “Where did you get that silly idea?” and leans forward to press his lips against Victor’s.

The crowd disappears in that moment, and so does Yuri, who’s making retching sounds and wailing, “My eyes!” The flashes of cameras (including Phichit’s) go off all around them, but Yuuri doesn’t care.

He pulls away and immediately blushes. Victor is looking at him in dazed awe.

“But…” Victor licks his lips. “When we went on our date, you—”

Yuuri’s eyebrows knit together. “When did we go on a date?”

“To the movie!”

“That was a date?! But you told Yakov we were going as friends—”

“I wasn’t going to tell _him_!”

“You could have told _me_ , at least!”

“You could have let me kiss you when I tried,” Victor counters.

“I don’t remember you trying!”

“Come on, I leaned in, and you ducked away like—”

“I thought you were falling over because you were tired!”

“Who falls over into someone’s face?!”

“Maybe you! How was I supposed to know?”

Phichit, nearby, says calmly, “How about we just agree that you’re both completely oblivious for now and move this to somewhere less public?”

They both stop, turning red. 

“Please,” Yuri adds.

“Your scores should be out soon anyway,” Victor says, trying to collect himself. “We should…probably…”

“Yeah, probably.”

They wait together as the scores are announced on the screen. To Yuuri’s astonishment, they’re almost even with Yuri’s, who’s in first place. Yuri, who is watching close by, drops his cat plushie in astonishment and anger. Yuuri's total score puts him in second, which means he’s going to Nationals.

Victor hugs him tightly, and he hugs back.

“You know, you asked me why I chose that song,” Victor whispers. “I chose it because of you. It’s how you make me feel.”

Yuuri thinks over the lyrics, so familiar after all of his practice. “But it’s a love song.”

Victor laughs softly. “It is, isn’t it?” Then he kisses Yuuri again. 

“Really?!” Yuri shrieks. “Find a room! Find anyplace that is not directly in front of me!”

They both laugh helplessly, leaning into each other.

After some discussion, during which Yuuri reveals that he’s had a crush on Victor since freshman year and Victor confesses he realized he liked Yuuri before the recital, Yuuri looks over and sees his mom.

“Mom,” he whispers, and runs to her.

“Yuuri…If only I had come with you to the rink, just once. If only I had—”

“Mom…”

“I’m sorry.” She wipes away an errant tear. “I’m so sorry. How could I not see?”

“Mom, you see me better than anyone.” He leaps forward to catch her in a deep hug.

She laughs through her tears. “That’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever said to me, but I like it.” 

He laughs too. “I guess you just bring out that side of me.”

Victor steps forward. “Hello,” he says, surprisingly formal. “I’m your son’s coach.”

She looks at him with a raised eyebrow. “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think most coaches kiss their skaters.”

“Actually—” Victor says, eyes sparkling.

“I don’t think I want to know. My point is we should find Yuuri a new coach. You’re only 18.”

“But I like being his coach!” Victor says, pouting. 

“Do you know any quads?” she demands. “Don’t look so surprised. I did some research.”

“No, but that’s not that important, is it?”

“Are you only saying that because you like my son?”

“Why do people keep asking me that?” he whines. “Kind of, but who cares!”

Yuuri comes between them, grinning. “Guys. There’s enough of me to go around.”

“Is that a promise?” Victor purrs.

Yuuri smacks Victor in the shoulder. “In front of my mom again, really?!”

“I guess that’s the side you bring out in me!” he says cheerfully.

“I’m pretty sure you’re just naturally a flirt.”

“Maybe.”

“Only maybe? You basically told me to take pictures of your butt the first time we spoke!”

“It’s a very nice butt,” Victor says defensively.

“Well, yeah, but that’s not the point!”

“You two get along well,” Yuuri’s mom comments placidly. “Should I be expecting a wedding sometime soon?”

“Mom! I’m only 17!”

“18 in two weeks,” she points out. “Even earlier with parental consent. Do you want my consent, Yuuri?”

“Mom!”

Victor pretends to consider. “Two weeks isn’t much time to put something together, but I think I could manage it with help.”

“ _Victor_!”

“I think I still have a nice dress at the back of my closet somewhere.”

“Mom, seriously, stop!”

“What? All I ever wanted besides you going to Harvard was grandchildren. If I’m not getting one, you at least owe me the other.”

“Don’t you want my children, Yuuri?” Victor inquires innocently.

“Well—I—gah!” Yuuri storms off, the two of them laughing behind him.

(For the record, Victor doesn’t propose on Yuuri’s birthday, but he does propose several years later, at the Grand Prix Finals. And when they kiss in front of all the cameras again, next to the rink on which Yuuri had just skated the program that went on to win him the gold medal, Yuuri feels like he’s dreaming again.

But it’s not a dream. It’s one hundred percent real and one hundred percent his. And that’s the best part, really, better than any dream.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all right well there we are! thank you so much for all of your comments, kudos, and views. i hope all of you had at least a fraction as much fun reading it as i did writing it, and i hope to see you all on another fanfiction soon! best wishes <3

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this absolute travesty lol. if you want to scream about cute ice babies with me, my tumblr is anuninterestingperson!


End file.
